Dear Abby Offers Guidance on Hoarding, Substance Use and Family Estrangement

Dear Abby addressed two distinct family emergencies in her column on March 25, 2026, offering practical steps for readers facing a child's relapse into substance use and a relative living amid hazardous hoarding. The responses were framed around what family members can and cannot control and when to seek outside intervention.

In the first letter, a parent said their son filed for divorce seven months ago and introduced a woman named Carlene three months later. According to the writer, Carlene has five children by three different fathers, is married to a second husband who filed for divorce two months ago, and has custody of two children. Since Carlene became involved with the son, the parent reports the son resumed drinking and using drugs and lost a job he’d held for 17 years. The columnist advised against confrontational proclamations, recommended becoming progressively less available, and cautioned against blaming the children for behaviors the mother allegedly did not correct.

The second submission described a 71-year-old sister diagnosed with ADHD whose cluttered home and persistent odor have driven relatives to avoid visits; the writer called the residence a health hazard and feared accidents and the burden of clearing the house after the sister dies. The columnist characterized hoarding as a mental-health issue, noted medication may help only with acknowledgement of the problem, and urged contacting the local health department to assess immediate danger. The advice column is authored by Abigail Van Buren (Jeanne Phillips), founded by Pauline Phillips.